for way too many reasons this time of the year is an emotional minefield for me and new hurts compounded the pain to the point the afternoon resulted in a need to nest.
when i get here i need to rest in that place where i am safe, loved, and home (not in a place kind of way). it is in this place when i can let go of caring about my external roles, expectations i place on myself, and my need to belong and be that little girl needing her daddy's tender touch for a bit of time.
it is that place the tears fall steadily with no care that the mask i wear will run or be washed away.
in that place where it is okay to be broken, honest, vulnerable, and out of control.
it is in that place that i hear those words of love..."you are my beloved child. i've got you. just be. nothing else matters."
it is in that place hope begins to build again, the broken places are bound up, the boo-boos are kissed, and dreams can be re-born, re-visited, re-membered.
it is in that place courage is found again and climbing down leads me to that cliff where once again i tip toe to the edge...and this time....
and i hear again...
"i've got you. just be."
"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart..." ~Jeremiah 29.11-13