Saturday, June 30, 2012

rain


O God, 
in Whom we live and move, 
and have our being, 
grant us rain, 
in due abundance, 
that, being sufficiently helped 
with temporal, 
we may the more confidently 
seek after eternal gifts. 
Through Christ, our Lord. 
Amen.



 For I know that the Lord is great;
   our Lord is above all gods. 
Whatever the Lord pleases he does,
   in heaven and on earth,
   in the seas and all deeps. 
He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth;
   he makes lightnings for the rain
   and brings out the wind from his storehouses. 

Psalm 135.5-7



Wednesday, June 27, 2012

open

Gracious and Open Lord


open our ears to hear you

open our minds to understand you

open our eyes to see you

open our hearts to love you

open our hands to reach for you

open our feet to bring you to others

open our lives to live for you


There may be no posts for a few days as the doc goes in to take away spurs that make shoulders hurt today.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

insomnia

red dashes dance

from ten to one to four

thoughts swirling

hurtful words

unknown conclusions

mysterious actions 

 pain

 exhaustion

 dryness

timeless words remembered

soothing blanket envelops

dreams seep in

unseen arms hold tight

"you are my beloved" echoes

hands un-clench

eyes droop

red dashes flash

night is ended



Monday, June 25, 2012

multitudes on mondays

it is monday...
 a day to remember gifts...
gifts i already have...
gifts that cost no silver...
gifts that make my heart smile...
gifts that remind me to give thanks to the Gift Giver...

remember to link up to ann's site  to see the gifts 
others have shared.


779 a slow drive up a windy mountain road

780 seeing juice in new colors that make me smile


781 sharing art with new friends

782 tables made for creating


783 swallows sneaking by to check on babies

784 a lesson learned from a baby bird


785 cuddling with my boys after a week away

786 an ice cold sun drop on a hot day

787 celebrating a holy meal in a place that formed me


789 coming to the table barefoot

790 kind words from dear friends

791 an unexpected message

792 burgers with da baby


793 lunch with fellow travelers

794 hearing new stories that remind me of mine

795 a friend request from someone i admire

796 words that make me remember summers gone by

797 a room full of middle schoolers standing on chairs as they sing praises to God



798 working through a hard thing in a good and holy way

799 warm socks on cold feet










Saturday, June 23, 2012

last day of camp...happy weekend


































it was a great week and yet i am glad to be home with my bear and my joshua brayden beast...


have a restful weekend full of sunshine, love, and laughter.

Friday, June 22, 2012

thursday at camp

it is friday! that means it is the day to sneak into our studios with jennifer.  my studio this week has been at a youth summer camp.  each day i have looked at things with new eyes...take a look and remember to hook up at studio jru to see what others are up to!









Thursday, June 21, 2012

being "good" enough part 3




This is week three of the discussion here, on Facebook, and emily’s blog on Grace for the Good Girl.  As I finished chapters 7 through 9 I am at a denominational summer camp on staff in my role as priest.  The week has been an interesting one as the old me intersects with the new me in a place that helped form me in my priestly identity.  It has been good and scary and tiring and affirming in so many ways.  I have found myself falling back in to old patterns, beating myself up, and then getting angry.  At myself for falling backwards, at expectations (mine and others), and at those messages we teach without meaning to. 

Then I am reminded of how much I am loved, how many are praying for me on this journey, and how much I love what I do.  The sound of 45 middle school aged students singing to God does something to my heart.  Watching the “jock” dance with a nursing home resident makes me smile.  The tiara wearing girl hearing God in one who cannot speak takes my breath away.  Celebrating the Eucharist in a place that helped form me brings completion in a sense. 

The familiar sights, smells, and sounds of this holy mountain breathe in to that broken place in my soul and I know I am continuing to become the woman God has called me to be.  And while I miss my bear and my Joshua Brayden Beast, I know that I am meant to be at this place and in this time with this group of students and staff. 

The words of this book are words to learn from, to live into, and to teach to other “good girls” as they become true for me.

This week’s questions:

1.    Do you teach people you have no needs and are you angry with them when they believe you?

Absolutely, often because I find myself believing it as well.  I learned early and often to put the needs of others ahead of my own.  Putting my own first was “selfish” and narcissistic.  It is an incredibly difficult pattern to break.  Sometimes even simple needs are hard to recognize (being tired), let alone needs that are not as obvious (I have been around people all day and need some quiet time).

This tendency can be complicated further by my vocation and I find when I don’t stay healthy I disconnect further from what I need. That is when it is time to crawl back into God’s lap and listen, yet hard to do.

‎2. I shared the story of the little girl who had to choose between the pencils or the activity book.  Which would you choose? Why are you so afraid to discover what you really want?

I would choose the book and find myself angry for having picked it.  I am learning to pick the pencils, but having to let go of feelings of guilt and selfishness when I do so.  Something as “simple” as taking space in my house for an art studio was a huge break through.  Recognizing that God has good gifts of which I am worthy is hard to remember.  Each time I hear and say yes it gets easier, although I still second guess myself…baby steps…

3. In Chapter 9, we read about the story of a father and his two sons. The rebellious one gets a party when he comes home while the religious one refuses to go in.  There’s a party going on – where are you standing? Inside with the celebration? Right outside with your ear pressed against the door? A mile out in the fields alone?

I want so badly to be in the midst of the celebration although the reality is I am right outside the door.  When no one invites me in, I get angry and run a mile into the fields alone.  Then I become even angrier about not being loved.  Opening that door on my own never occurs to me. With God’s help I am slowly reaching for the door knob.

Join in the discussion here or on Emily's blog, or even better, in real life!

timeless...old...new...


















Wednesday, June 20, 2012

another day at camp


blue juice!  gone in 3 seconds






sacred words heard in new ways








loving the cracked walls





art barn