I feel as though I am going to break apart into a million pieces. Every week I get to spend an hour with the most incredible group of women. There is the 70 year old sassy Cajun, the 86 year young at heart ballroom dancer, the 84 year old stroke survivor who still “learns me” about the Bible, the woman caring for a depressed and ill husband, the woman who in her mid-50’s has found child-like faith…and on and on. These are an incredible group of women who teach me much about life, love, learning, and most especially about God.
And why do I feel like I am about to shatter? Because they look to me for wisdom, for guidance, for prayer, for healing. They trust in me. They tell me that when I talk to them about God, they learn something. That when I celebrate that timeless, life giving prayer, they meet Jesus. That when I pray for them they feel the healing touch of the Holy Spirit. Me…a broken, worn out, messed up, confused fellow traveler.
I wish I could see what they see. And yet in the midst of the honor of praying with them, anointing them, I let myself go. I tap in to that place of peace, quiet, and trust. I let the words flow from my heart and my mouth. I know not what I say, yet I know it is right, and good, and holy. And the tears begin to fall, the words are hard to form. I quiet my mouth, open my heart, and kneeling at my feet I see Jesus. He is present in these women and just for a moment, he is present in me. And in that second I shatter. Because in that moment in time I am with Jesus and nothing else matters.